Mood:Furious
Topic: Sometimes we really are alone in our thoughts
S.O.C.:"Feelings" by the Offspring
I swear as teen angst as this may sound the World is out to get me! In seriousness! Or at least the small insignificant utterly useless and unimportant Bradwell sector! But let me explain!
For the last week people or the older persuasion have been trying my patience and to say the least I have been frusterated. Now I'm not in the business of feeling sorry for myself but I'll complain a little(Jonnell has seen so much of my emotional range in the last week it isn't even funny) But I unlike many try to do something about it because I don't believe in getting mad at people most of the time I believe in getting upset with circumstance but as Nny says don't just fucking complain actually do something you know.
First off The ne Principal is a freakin LUNCH NAZI! I try and sit as far away from everyone(except Jonnell ::hug:: )as humanly possible. but this lady for some reason made me sit closer to people. OKay....now see where I was at was supposedly "off limits" it was a pillar basically but then not even 15 minutes later a girl goes and sits down where I was and the principal is sitting all of 3 feet away from this girl looking dead at her and doesn't say anything. This happened for like 3 days. Then we couldn't eat there then we couldn't drink there I mean when I say they I really mean me and the people with me at the time. because litterally she was after me no joke this is not some exaggerated thing this is literal.
In anycase they messed up my schedule because you know how in CHS you tak Eco/Gov together? not here, here you have to take each one seperate. SO I went to the Consluer who is compeletely stupid and told her that I had Gov on here when I told her that I would take Eco(it was first term so I did it that way)and we needed to fix that now. Turns out that I can't take anything at the school because I've taken everything! SO they won't give me credit for taking the same class again so now I HAVE to do the college thing PSO. So now I get to join Lisette in that parade--but I don't see much of Dan (who rearanged his schedule to have class with me!)or Jonnell anymore. And if I don't go I don't get to graduate because I'll be short a credit!!! And I can't rearange my schedule because all my classes are one time during the whole freaking year!!!!!
::twitches:: And people I want to work this year and do you know why?!!
I want to live at the UGA dorms and be able to run out of my room across the hall in my PJS to Peter and Junior's room and walk right in and wake them up for school! I want to see them fresh out of bed with bed breath and bed hair and red eyes! I want to argue over breakfast and get yelled at for running late!I want to struggle with them and for them and for myself. I want to see them everyday! I want to get so sick of them that they make me healthy damnit!!! I want to go somewhere with my fucking love and I refuse to let these people fuck up this.
All my life everything has been out of my hands! EVERYTHING! Where I live, what school I go to what I do! WELL NO FUCKING MORE!! OKAY!! All this get ready for the real world shit that I'm suppose to be afraid of--I'm not scared I'm eager okay! I want my life in my hands I don't want people telling me what to do or when to do it or how to do it I want to make my own decisions--And if I screw up so what? Let me have that liberty it's my life isn't it? God damn...
::exhales:: mother fucking people getting in my way shit...give me a gun.
But you know what I still don't feel sorry for myself...I feel sorry for Jonnell because she has to see me in this unstable state so freaking often... I swear she's seen it all mad, sad, quiet, smart---all of it. I think it bothers her to see me so upset and frusterated...I'm sorry Jonnell...I really am.
::sigh:: I wish...I wish I could just close my eyes and let the whole thing just pass me by...but I can't...now is not the time to be idol...now I have to fight for what I want...and I have to become what I once was...or something dangerously close to it.....
Well Gents and ladies....let's hope I survive the mutation right? The awakening of the Lost Soul Kim
Topic: Sometimes we really are alone in our thoughts
S.O.C.:"Feelings" by the Offspring
I swear as teen angst as this may sound the World is out to get me! In seriousness! Or at least the small insignificant utterly useless and unimportant Bradwell sector! But let me explain!
For the last week people or the older persuasion have been trying my patience and to say the least I have been frusterated. Now I'm not in the business of feeling sorry for myself but I'll complain a little(Jonnell has seen so much of my emotional range in the last week it isn't even funny) But I unlike many try to do something about it because I don't believe in getting mad at people most of the time I believe in getting upset with circumstance but as Nny says don't just fucking complain actually do something you know.
First off The ne Principal is a freakin LUNCH NAZI! I try and sit as far away from everyone(except Jonnell ::hug:: )as humanly possible. but this lady for some reason made me sit closer to people. OKay....now see where I was at was supposedly "off limits" it was a pillar basically but then not even 15 minutes later a girl goes and sits down where I was and the principal is sitting all of 3 feet away from this girl looking dead at her and doesn't say anything. This happened for like 3 days. Then we couldn't eat there then we couldn't drink there I mean when I say they I really mean me and the people with me at the time. because litterally she was after me no joke this is not some exaggerated thing this is literal.
In anycase they messed up my schedule because you know how in CHS you tak Eco/Gov together? not here, here you have to take each one seperate. SO I went to the Consluer who is compeletely stupid and told her that I had Gov on here when I told her that I would take Eco(it was first term so I did it that way)and we needed to fix that now. Turns out that I can't take anything at the school because I've taken everything! SO they won't give me credit for taking the same class again so now I HAVE to do the college thing PSO. So now I get to join Lisette in that parade--but I don't see much of Dan (who rearanged his schedule to have class with me!)or Jonnell anymore. And if I don't go I don't get to graduate because I'll be short a credit!!! And I can't rearange my schedule because all my classes are one time during the whole freaking year!!!!!
::twitches:: And people I want to work this year and do you know why?!!
BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING DREAM!! I WANT TO FUCKING BE A GOD DAMNED TEACHER!! AND ON THAT ROAD THERE I HAVE THINGS I WANT TO EXPERIENCE
I want to live at the UGA dorms and be able to run out of my room across the hall in my PJS to Peter and Junior's room and walk right in and wake them up for school! I want to see them fresh out of bed with bed breath and bed hair and red eyes! I want to argue over breakfast and get yelled at for running late!I want to struggle with them and for them and for myself. I want to see them everyday! I want to get so sick of them that they make me healthy damnit!!! I want to go somewhere with my fucking love and I refuse to let these people fuck up this.
All my life everything has been out of my hands! EVERYTHING! Where I live, what school I go to what I do! WELL NO FUCKING MORE!! OKAY!! All this get ready for the real world shit that I'm suppose to be afraid of--I'm not scared I'm eager okay! I want my life in my hands I don't want people telling me what to do or when to do it or how to do it I want to make my own decisions--And if I screw up so what? Let me have that liberty it's my life isn't it? God damn...
::exhales:: mother fucking people getting in my way shit...give me a gun.
But you know what I still don't feel sorry for myself...I feel sorry for Jonnell because she has to see me in this unstable state so freaking often... I swear she's seen it all mad, sad, quiet, smart---all of it. I think it bothers her to see me so upset and frusterated...I'm sorry Jonnell...I really am.
::sigh:: I wish...I wish I could just close my eyes and let the whole thing just pass me by...but I can't...now is not the time to be idol...now I have to fight for what I want...and I have to become what I once was...or something dangerously close to it.....
Well Gents and ladies....let's hope I survive the mutation right? The awakening of the Lost Soul Kim
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home